seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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