yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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