i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
