have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
