sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can Purell be used as lube?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
