I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
