I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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