its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
