He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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