wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
