We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
