Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
