haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
