Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
