No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
