But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
