I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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