it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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