I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
