i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
