I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
