Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
