his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
