come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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