I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
