Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
