He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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