I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
