We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
