wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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