My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
