Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
