I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
