Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
