why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
