I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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