he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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