i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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