we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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