is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
