STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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