I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
