It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
