I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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