He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
