alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
