Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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