it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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