We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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