Don't make out with my wife yet
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
