i need an iv and a liver transplant
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
how does that bad decision feel?
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